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  • Bethany Evans

Empowering Body Love Practice for Women

Ladies - let’s talk body positivity!


I’ve developed a practice that I’ve adapted over the last two years that consists of me dancing either nude or in close to nothing (i.e. anything that makes me feel free and sexy) in front of a mirror while I watch myself.


I know - some of your first reactions will be that this sounds a bit weird and uncomfortable and vain, but hear me out on this: if I (or you) can’t face ourselves in the mirror NAKED, letting it all hang loose, shake and wiggle without cringing, how will we ever feel comfortable in our own skin being vulnerable with another human being?


I started this practice to become acutely aware of the self deprecating thoughts I had about myself, specifically my body, because I noticed that I struggled to look at myself for long periods of time in the mirror. I barely looked myself in the eye.


And once I acknowledged what I was trying to avoid by hearing those scared, insecure, and vulnerable thoughts, I could then - 1) shake out those feelings in my body; like really get down and move the way my body wanted to move, without judgement or care, releasing the emotional and energetic attachment those thoughts had created.


And F*CK YES it starts out SUPER DUPER uncomfortable allowing myself to do so. Not just the first time I ever did it, but - every. single. time. Without fail. I have to get over that part of my brain that wants to judge and instead remind myself - Hey, girl. You're ALONE in your room right now. Whose judgments are you so afraid of? And the surrender and allowance then occurs.


And - 2) this opens up space for new thoughts, beliefs and views of myself and my body to enter. Like how my hips move so seamlessly to the music and how the muscle tone in my thighs become visible when I get low, or how my face makes some cute and funny shapes when I am having fun! (Or whatever I notice about myself and my body that day). It will be different for all of you, and most likely different every time you practice. That's the beauty of Feminine flow - the constant shift and change into something new.


Real talk though - here’s what really triggered this absolute NEED to empower and love myself in such a deep, primal way again: I was dumped by a man I had given myself completely to. Nothing like having your heart shattered that makes you want to shame and blame yourself for what you believe is wrong with you. And where is it easiest to start that blame? With our bodies. "If only I had a flatter stomach, a bigger butt, a smaller waist, a prettier face," etc. etc. until we pick ourselves apart to nothing.


But what I realized about all of those insecurities and judgments were that they were already there deep inside of me wanting to be seen, felt, heard, and loved; that break up was simply what triggered them to the surface to be released. And during my grieving process, I learned how to look at myself in a brand new, empowered way - once all of the crying and coddling took place, of course.


Moving through the stages of grief are no joke, and everyone has their own process. I recommend this practice for when you’re wanting to channel and process your power, sexuality and self-love, specifically. I found that these are three key areas I consistently come back to when needing to move unhealed crap to the surface through dance and body movement. This may be different for you personally, but if you resonate I invite you to try this practice out for yourself when you are experiencing this NEED to move that energy OUT of your body.


I’ve created a mini play list of songs that really tap into the embodiment of these three themes (in my opinion), listed below. Here is my suggestion for how to practice:

  1. Create a sacred space for yourself first:

  2. Cleanse the energy with sage, use incense, light candles, and set the mood that makes you feel comfortable.

  3. Block out some uninterrupted time and put a Do Not Disturb sign on your door.

  4. Turn off your phone and all other distractions.

  5. Get naked or wear something that makes you feel sexy and/or powerful.

  6. Put on these songs below or any others that move you, and (ideally) listen with headphones so you can be consumed by the music without distractions.

  7. Set yourself up in front of a mirror.

  8. Look yourself in the eye and just begin moving.

  9. Notice what thoughts, feelings, sensations and stories come up and allow them to surface.

  10. Fully FEEL and ALLOW the emotion attached to each judgment and thought to be in your body, but do not analyze it.

  11. Then move and dance like no one is watching (because they're not, only you are) to move it out.

  12. Sing along your beautiful heart out to clear that Throat Chakra!

Bonus points if you record yourself and watch it back after! I have done this many times and have been able to release so many nasty judgments I had about my body because of it. Once you have created the space and you no longer hear those judgments - notice what is beautiful about your body, and afterwards write it down. Journaling in general is wonderful after this practice to further let go and set your new positive body image intentions.


Extra bonus points if you share photos and/or a video of yourself on social media or with others to inspire and empower them through your body love! What a cathartic and expansive experience that has been for me, and I wish it for you as well.


Here is the short list of songs for each area (Empowerment, Sexuality, Self-love) that I personally dance to that really get me going and allow me to fully embody positive experiences of these qualities:


Empowerment

  1. "Truth Hurts" by Lizzo

  2. "Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa

  3. "You Should See Me in a Crown" by Billie Eilish

Sexuality

  1. "You Want This" by Janet Jackson

  2. "That's the Way Love Goes" by Janet Jackson

  3. "Throb" by Janet Jackson

*Basically most songs on Janet Jackson's album Janet.


Self-love

  1. "Higher Love" by Whitney Houston

  2. "My Future" by Billie Eilish

  3. "Good as Hell" by Lizzo

Feel free to use any songs that speak to YOU and that allow you to feel and release whatever you are experiencing about your body image and self image in general.


Finally, this practice at it's core is designed for you to learn how to love yourself and your body as it is right now. Sure, you have goals and are working towards some things but that future is not here in the NOW. Only your body as it is right this second is here. Wouldn't it feel FANTASTIC to let go of all those expectations society places on women to look a certain way and give the patriarchy a giant middle finger while declaring, "I love myself as I am and I feel amazing in this body despite how you try to bring me down!"??


Please share with me if you put this into practice and how it impacted you, and reach out if you would like coaching from me around empowering your authentic self expression as a woman!


Much love,

Bethany


Actual photo of me taken during one of my recent dance practices.

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